Learn to Accessorize
Men are lovely adornments, Puddin’. They make life sexier, sweeter, richer sometimes. But you can have an outfit without the earrings and you can have a life without a man.
Change them like you change clothes. Let the men come and go. Swap them out like last year’s castoffs. Why make one permanent when having variety is so much more fun?
The 6’4” “yella” pseudo-thug? He isn’t going anywhere with his life and you don’t need to carry no man on your back.
The smooth talking singer with the Napoleon complex? He thinks his military service means he can treat you like a private to his General.
The one with the colored contacts? What were you thinking with that one, Pud?
The country boy with an accent that drips like melted butter? I know his grandmother was somebody special but he ain’t never seemed like much to me.
The one you married? You only needed him to bring your baby here.
There’s no man alive smart enough to tell you how to be a woman. And none worthy enough to stay with you while you figure it out, not even your husband.
I know you want to be a princess, Puddin’, but you don’t need a man to choose you.
You ain’t Cinderella. The shoe doesn’t fit. There’s better things to be than a princess and the best thing to be is – free.
The author, aged around 1, with her glamorous maternal grandmother, her “Geez”
-Toya R. Smith is a mother, a daughter, a sister, a Titi, a Black girl from West Baltimore. An Aborisha, a Blitch, a Conjurewoman. More than anything, she is a curator of joy.
